Warning:

WARNING: If taken in large doses, nightshade can be deadly.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

The Internet has traumatized me again....

Today, while happily and innocently perusing Facebook, one of my favorite websites (Cracked.com), posted a link on my wall for their new Top 5 List.  This one was The 5 Most Spectacularly Unsexy Workout Videos Ever.  The #1 Most Spectacularly Unsexy Workout Video:  Angela Lansbury's Positive Moves.

Sweet Baby Jesus.  

They detail this video, where Angela Lansbury....of Murder, She Wrote fame.....is generally long-winded and oddly hump-ish before hopping into her large tub and talking about how women her age are still sexual while her hands mysteriously disappear into the water.

I didn't believe them.  So I clicked on the video link. 

Why, why, oh why did I choose to open that link?  The vision of Angela Lansbury (possibly...more than likely) masturbating ON FILM! is going to haunt me forever. 

I've delayed my plans to build my teleportation device in order to give me time to invent some sort of memory scrubber thing-a-ma-bob in order to save myself a few hours of therapy. 

Dear Cracked:

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