Snow White and the Huntsman

was fucking awesome. 

I have been looking forward to this movie for a while, but I was seriously doubting my ability to stay awake.  The Chinese food we had for dinner did not help at all.  But me and the hubs watched the first installment of Hatfields & McCoys on the History Channel to pass the time, and it woke me up pretty well. 

I cannot resist a Kevin Costner western.  A Kevin Costner anything, really.

 At 11pm, I hopped in our car and jammed to Florence + the Machine's "Breath of Life" from the SWATH soundtrack all the way to Columbia.  The theater smelled.  Like old people and popcorn.  It was not a pleasant "Granny's baking cookies" old people smell either. 

But then the movie started and I forgot all about the funky smell and being tired.

Visually, this movie is pretty awesome.  It is an epic fantasy with quite a bit of very well done CGI, incredible costumes, these odd and awesome obsidian soldiers, and most of the cast was very easy on the eyes.  It also stars Ian McShane as one of the dwarfs so it had a leg up on most other movies auditorily too.  Spell check is saying that I spelled auditorily wrong....but Dictionary.com says that I'm spelling it right.  Hmmm.

It also has a nice twist on the love story aspect that I appreciated, but I'm pretty sure is going to cause purists to groan.  

This is has been one of the only Snow White movies that I could appreciate at all (the other being Once Upon A Time's version on ABC).  I absolutely hated the Disney version.  This version is going to be a staple in my household.  I can't wait to watch it again. 

And can I just say, Charlize Theron is a goddess.  Seriously.  And chick knows how to bring the crazy.  

Also, for your listening pleasure:

As Promised.....

I am posting a ton of movie reviews in the next few days.  I have spent the last week in an awesome relaxed state - reading, watching movies, and catching up on some shows that I missed while I was gone.

Yay True Blood!!

So, for today's post, let's start with The Green Lantern:

I have to say, this is definitely not the blockbuster of the summer....or even the month of June.  But it was decent.  It had good actors, and a semi-decent, ordinary guy turns reluctant superhero and saves the earth universe story.  The second best thing about this movies was that it didn't drag itself out.  Lasting only 114 minutes, it opened, told its story, and ended and at no point did I sit there and think "Jeez, would this just freaking end already?!"

The first best thing about this movie.....

There was a lot of CGI, tons of weird aliens (one of which was voiced by one of my favs - Geoffrey Rush), and the prerequisite hot chick love interest.  It also had Tim Robbins playing an asshole senator and father to the scientist turned bad guy character played by Peter Sarsgaard.

Evil was not good to this poor man. 

My boys really enjoyed this movie, as they do any movie with a superhero theme.  They are already asking for it on DVD, so I'm sure my opinion of this movie will greatly decrease after the 500,382,303,208 time we watch it.  I might even get tired of seeing Ryan Reynolds levitate in a pair of white Lycra boxer briefs.....

......Nah

Ooohhhh

I want to see this!

What can I say...there's not a lot going on here.

I know I watch a lot of movies.  But really....books and movies are my only hobbies right now.  Personally, I think they are pretty damn good ones.  At least I won't be saddling my kids with some ginormous (and completely useless) rock collection when I die.

The other night I watched a movie called Chloe....

 

 

 

Basically, it's a tamer, lesbian version of Fatal Attraction.

It was good.  Julianne Moore's character has an extremely flirtatious husband (played by Liam Neeson) and she comes across reasons to believe that he is cheating on her.....soooo, she does what any sane woman would do.  Hire a prostitute to come onto him to see if he is willing to sleep with her...then sleep with said prostitute to get back at him.  What could possibly go wrong in this scenario? 

"You are so lucky that you don't have a rabbit I can boil."

I also watched "Brothers" with Natalie Portman, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Tobey Maguire.  It was an excellent, and very heartbreaking,story about a Marine and his family.  He goes to Afghanistan, where his helicopter is shot down.  The military tells his family that he is dead, but he actually was taken prisoner, tortured, starved and made to do incredibly horrible things until he is rescued.  When he comes home, reintegrating with his family that he thinks has moved on from him proves to be more than he can handle.  It's a seriously heartbreaking movie.   

Both of these movies are on Netflix Instant Streaming, if you are interested.

Am I unAmerican?

Recently, I read a book that I had been told repeatedly for years was an amazing book.  Seriously, everyone that I came in contact with that had read it sang its praises.  This book:  Anne Rice's Interview with a Vampire. 

I borrowed the first four or five books of the series from my BFF, absolutely sure that I was going to enjoy it enough to read the entire series.  I got home, finished the quick fluff book that I also borrowed from her (Sh*t My Dad Says.  It's cute.  I recommend it) and then eagerly dived into Interview with a Vampire. 

It bored me to tears.

Holy Crap!  What's wrong with me??  I am undoubtedly the odd man out.  Did I just build it up too much in my head that it could never live up to my expectations?  Did the combination of Brad Pitt, Antonio Banderas, Kirsten Dunst, and a pre-crazy Tom Cruise really overshadow the novel they were acting from? 

I can count the number of books that I've preferred the movie adaptation to the actual book itself on one hand.  Generally, I am able to compartmentalize and like both the book and the movie.  But I still almost always like the books best.  But Interview with a Vampire has definitely added itself to the "I prefer the movie" list.

I can't even begin to tell you how much I loathed these books.  But I liked the movies pretty well.

And really, Armand was the only tolerable character in this story.  Lestat was dreadful, Louis was obnoxiously whiny, and Claudia was exactly as you would expect an eternally five year old girl to be like.  But I liked Armand. 

So.  I don't know what's wrong with me.  But either way, I am extremely disappointed.  I was really looking forward to enjoying this series.  Instead, I've moved on to Lyon by Elizabeth Amber, which I stole from my mother's bookcase. 

Momma....I'm shocked.  And impressed.  And my husband thanks you.

Shhhh....I'm listening to Ian McShane's voice rumbling in my head.

The Super Bowl commercials kinda sucked this year.

My favorite part of the whole thing was when they showed the new convertible Camaro that is coming out this spring.

I wants it.  I needs it.  My Precious.

My second favorite.  My brief flash of the the next movie that will get obscene amounts of my money....because I plan on retreating to the theater as often as possible to spend 2 hours in heaven with two of my biggest celebrity crushes - Ian McShane and Johnny Depp - in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.

*excuse me...my hubs just informed me that I was drooling again.*

My third favorite part of the Super Bowl.....eh.  I got so distracted by the sound of Ian McShane's voice, I kinda forgot to pay attention to the rest of it.  Sorry. 

*I don't care if anyone else likes this....I'm linking it simply so I can come back and listen to it as much as I want without having to track it down every time.*






Seriously.  Watch Deadwood.  Something about the way that man says "fuck" makes you just want to. 

Fuck that, I'm blonde.

Have you ever seen "What Women Want"?  Specifically the very pivotal scene where Mel Gibson's character gets drunk and tries out all those women's products?  He slathers some hot wax on his leg, and yanks that shit off....and once the pain died down he says, "Why would women do that more than once??"

Today, for the first time in my entire life, I waxed my eyebrows and 'stache.

Gratuitous Mel Gibson pic....mostly because I miss the days when I didn't know he was batshit insane.

And I completely agree with Mel.

The eyebrows weren't that bad.  I think I prefer waxing them to plucking.  But the mustache.  Holyfuckingshitthathurt.  And my upper lip is STILL numb.

And as I sat there, trying to will myself into finishing the job and not running around like an idiot who got 1/4 of the way into a waxing job and then ran away like a big baby, I asked myself, "What the fuck were you thinking???!  Yes, you have a mustache, but no one can see it because it's light blonde!"

So with that single act of complete dumbass-ness....I have proven myself, once again, to be the blonde that I am.  Take that Mike Berry.

One more for the road...because he was the first in a long line of celebrity crushes....and he started the trend of them all being much much too old for me.

I'm here for your movie watching needs....

I love the theaters on base.  Mainly because they are CHEAP.  Like, I can get my whole 5-member family in for just a dollar or two more than I pay for one ticket at regular theaters.  So I keep an eye on what’s playing and when something that we’ve been really wanting to see comes through, we pack up the kiddos and pay our $13 and enjoy.  

Today, the movie featured was TRON: Legacy.

Now, I LOVE Jeff Bridges.  Besides being a very talented actor, he is also a really amazing photographer.  And it’s hard not to smile at the laid back, “surfer dude” sort of way he carries himself.  BUT.  CGIed Jeff Bridges is creepy.  He just looks so wrong.  Wrong, wrong, wrong. 

 

Right Jeff

Wrong Jeff

For half the movie, I sat there staring at Wrong Jeff trying to figure out just what made him so fucking creepy.  His face looked normal when he wasn’t moving or talking.  But when he did move or talk, there was just an “off-ness” to him. 

 And then I realized…..yes, his face is technically moving, but there’s not enough muscle-movement to coincide with the action.  His mouth moves, but his face muscles do not.  And it makes for one creepy looking face! 

WHEW!   

Once that was figured out, I was fully capable of enjoying the movie.  And it was a good movie.  Going to see it in 3D would have been amazing.  The actors (and actress) in it were really really good……but Michael Sheen should get mad props for absolutely stealing the few scenes he was in.  He was hilarious. 

He's come a long way since "Aro" from New Moon....

So.  Go see TRON: Legacy.  You can fully enjoy it now from start to finish because I worked out the “Why is Wrong Jeff Bridges so fucking creepy??” problem.  You’re welcome.