You were......wonderful. Yeah, wonderful.

Yesterday my family and I packed up and headed to our two oldest sons' hot, stinky elementary school gym to watch our oldest son play in his first concert.  (He plays the cello....for now.)

The proud mother in me wants go on and on about how wonderful it was, but the proud mother in me would be lying. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm super proud of my son.  He's one of only two cellists in the band.  He's only played for half the school year, and he can read his sheet music and pick out songs by ear.  Unfortunately, because there are only two cellists in the band...most of the music the teacher chose didn't even have parts for them.  He got to play two short songs, and then had to sit back and let all the other musicians play all the big fun songs.  Third graders were only allowed to choose between the violin and the cello.....knowing my sanity couldn't handle the sound of an 8 year old learning the violin, I steered him toward the cello.  Next year, he plans to switch to the saxophone, and he wants a guitar for his birthday. 

All that being said......I was FAR from the only parent in that gym wincing in pain when the band started playing.  LOL.  I am always highly amused by the plastered on half-smile and the glazed, zombie eyed look of parents who are being held hostage in torturous situations by their love and pride for their children. 

At the end of the day, I'm glad my son has the opportunity to play and learn about music.  He loves it and it makes him more confident and better-rounded.  So sitting through horrible elementary school band concerts with a smile plastered on my face while I secretly play Spades on my phone is a small price to pay. 

Three things I learned from listening to Taylor Swift's new CD

I recently bought Taylor Swift's new CD off iTunes and have had it on "repeat" for a few days.  Here's what I've learned:

- Lesson 1 - 

I SHOULD NEVER DATE A SONGWRITER.  I tend to be a private person.  I don't want mine and my significant other's intimate moments broadcast to hundreds of thousands of people...or even ten or twenty people.  And if I break up with said significant other, I damn sure don't want all the ways I fucked up being broadcast either.  Two of the three guys have moved on to other girls - as people their age often do - and they probably want to just put all the shoulda, woulda, couldas of previous relationships behind them. 

- Lesson 2 -

IT WOULD BE SUPER FUCKING COOL TO BE A SONGWRITER.  Seriously.  It must be one of the most cathartic experiences in the world to write an emotional song like these, hear it played a million times in a million places, and even get to meet other people that have felt the exact same way and connect with that song on such a level.  It would be amazing.

- Lesson 3 -

NEVER DATE JOHN MAYER....OR OTHER DICKHEADS LIKE HIM.  I didn't feel the slightest bit sorry for was John Mayer (Or Kanye, but his song was nice and forgiving IMO).  He's got a reputation for severely fucking with the chicks that he dates, regardless of their age.  And having met way too many of those angsty, "complicated" guys whose answer to every argument is "You just wouldn't understand!!", "I've got a lot on my mind!", or some variant of those two answers, I can say with authority....after about the third meltdown where these excuses are used to blow-off or belittle your feelings, you want to stab a motherfucker in the eye.  Taylor Swift saying what several of his other girlfriends have danced around in the press just earned her cool points in my book.

To save your eyesight, I'll paraphrase:  "I'm a moderately talented musician with the emotional maturity level of a pre-pubescent male baboon." x10