WARNING: If taken in large doses, nightshade can be deadly.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Things to think about at 2am....

So a little bit ago, I stumbled across this:

A map of the average penis sizes across the world.

And I noticed a trend that the larger penises were around the warmer climates, and it made me wonder; is it possible that, ancestrally, penises were kinda like goldfish?  In that they grew according to the space available?

Look at the map.  All the notoriously warmer climates like Central and South America and Africa are all varying shades of green while things get noticeably pinker the further north you go.  So was the northerners need for warmer, more confining breeches similar to raising a goldfish into a little glass bowl?  Whereas, the southerners, running around in what was basically a crotch curtain, have the aquatic equivalent of a goldfish raised in a pond? 


**This is not a scientific interpretation of this study.  Obviously.  I completely eliminated India and China from the information because I couldn't figure out what their problem was.  Initially, I started to backtrack and say that maybe the greener countries were more sexually, um, free? (Hence the smattering of green up there in Europe)  But then I remembered:  India invented tantric sex.  And have you seen some of the crazy shit that comes out of Japan??!**

Monday, September 12, 2011

These people simultaneously piss me off and scare the crap out of me.....

Dominionist fuck wit describes newest fad in Christian "courtship" (read: human property exchange). 

These types of beliefs are a lot wider spread than most people realize.  Google "Dominionists", "Quiverfull", "Vision Forum", "Bill Gothard", and a plethora of others.  Apparently, Sharia Law would look pretty good to these people as long as it's their holy book being imposed on everyone else.

You should also go read some of the stories on No Longer Quivering (where I first saw the blog inspiring link) for several examples of why this is a colossally bad idea. 

Saturday, September 10, 2011


It's Fall!!

My favorite time of the year is upon us.  I'm pulling out my boots, buying football shirts and hoodies, and eating soups and chowders.  I love this time of year. 

And the best part of Fall:  Halloween. 

I have the added bonus of being back in my hometown with all my friends and family for this year's Halloween.  My oldest brother has made the really awesome decision to get married on Halloween Day, so I will finally have the excuse I need to pull my kids from school and expose them to the awesomeness that Halloween can be when it's not regulated and controlled within an inch of it's life. 

I'm ridiculously excited about this. 

I am hoping that now that Climax Baptist has a different preacher than the asshole that "banned" Halloween when I was a teenager, Climax's Halloweens are once again spectacular.  I'm not holding my breath though, and I am totally willing to leave the city limits to find fun and debauchery for myself and my kiddos. 

It would be the coolest thing ever if someone could find us a hayride to go on.  That would ROCK!

Unfortunately, my hubs will spend this Fall apart from us.  He has to go on a TDY for a while, so me and the boys will be holding down the fort.  Everyone is full of sympathy and concern.....but really.....it's not going to be that different from when he's home now.  His job ensures that we see him on the weekends and that's pretty much it.  So, we'll miss him but we're gonna be fine. 

Saturday, September 3, 2011

It's my birthday!

Today starts my last year of being "twenty-something".  I'm completely cool with that.  I'm looking forward to this year and what it might bring. 

I realized recently that I actually miss being around people.

You read me right.  Ms. "People Make Me Stabby" would actually like to have a social circle again. 

Today, nothing would have been better than having a few drinks around a bonfire with a bunch of friends.  (Although the cake that my husband made me was a very close runner up.)  

I have a game plan though.  And one of these days, this hermit caterpillar is going to be a social butterfly.