WARNING: If taken in large doses, nightshade can be deadly.

Sunday, December 11, 2016

This will not be over quickly and you will not enjoy this.

I, like the majority of individuals in this country, watched with astonished disgust as Donald Trump was declared the winner of the presidential race in the wee hours of the morning on November 9.  I've attempted to put my thoughts down multiple times since then, but I didn't because I was too disappointed and infuriated in not only my fellow American's, but many of my own family and friends who gleefully and ignorantly put this piece of shit into office because they erroneously believe that other people achieving equality somehow diminishes their own and that by throwing others under the bus, they won't get hit by it. I didn't because I knew I couldn't rein in my anger enough to be fair and calm.  I still can't.  But fuck it.  I need to say it, and this is far more responsible than hurling expletives and duking it out over the Thanksgiving table.  Although, probably not as quite as cathartic for me. 

While I try to focus on the fact that an overwhelming majority of Americans DID NOT vote for this racist, misogynist con artist.....an unfortunate amount still did.   And thanks to our electoral college system, the person the majority of Americans wanted will not get the job.  Our nation is once again being held hostage by the conservative minority.  And while they were screaming their heads off about how horrible and undemocratic the electoral college was when they delusionally believed that they were the "silent majority", they are ever so grateful for it now.

To everyone that honestly believes that Donald Trump won the popular vote because 3 million of Hillary Clinton's votes were from illegal immigrants.....you are too stupid to be helped.  I'm truly sorry for your affliction. 

And to all the asshats who say that they took Obama's election gracefully and didn't protest or cry about it and Clinton supporters should too.  Fuck you in your amnesiatic ear.  No you did not gracefully accept Obama's election (who, by the fucking way, was elected with both a majority in the electoral college AND the popular vote...so piss off with your false equivalence).   And what's more, you had absolutely nothing to rationally fear from Obama's presidency.  Donald Trump and his basket of deplorables are a genuine threat to many citizens in our country.  There were over 400+ hate related instances of assault in the first week after Trump was elected because all the misogynist, racist pieces of shit who felt emboldened by their new white-nationalist loving president-elect came out of the woodwork.  But I'm sure possibility of being fired because you just couldn't refrain from calling someone in the first family the n-word on Facebook is super scary and should be taken with equal consideration.  *insert eye roll here*

Ironically, most of of those close-minded people who let their identity politics (yeah, I said identity politics....."white working class" is an identity that they are clinging desperately to just as surely as the liberal groups they are trying to screw over.  Even though the working class had NEVER been just white, labeling yourselves "white" working class means your issues and concerns warrant more understanding and action than those "lazy entitled brown people" who, when they are complaining about the lack of well-paying jobs and benefits, are considered to be looking for a handout. More on that in a later post.) cloud their judgement are about to get screwed in ways that they have never dreamed.  Trump is not going to bring back manufacturing jobs.  He can't.  And it was never his goal.  He just told you that so you'd elect him and he could spend the next four years to eight years (his base is a little slow, so it might take both terms for them to catch on to his con) making as much money as possible for he and his corporate friends.  But hey!  White people can feel more empowered again!  That's something to hold onto while he dismantles our education system, our environmental protections, our foreign relationships with anyone not Russia-approved.  We'll just cross our fingers that someone doesn't hurt his fragile ego enough for him to start a nuclear war.

So yes.  I'm angry.  I'm angry that our country is being control by a megalomaniac dead set on destroying my children's futures.  I'm angry that people so blinded by their own racism and misogyny chose to screw themselves and everyone else for the satisfying sensation of having your white privilege reinforced. 

Final note:  If you are one of the short-sighted ignoramuses that voted for Gary Johnson or Jill Stein, you share a portion of the blame for whatever happens to this country because you weren't willing to do your part to keep a facist piece of shit out of office. Hillary Clinton was the most qualified person to ever run for President and you allowed the media's inherent misogyny to fool you with narratives of false equivalence in the candidates' behavior, character, and qualifications.  Shame on you. 

Sunday, June 30, 2013

This is so awesome!!

So, I write.  Quite a bit.  I have quite a few stories going right now as I seem to have some sort of writer-specific ADD.  Some are on the longish side, some barely count as short stories.  Some are funny-ish; one is developing into a pretty decent fantasy novel; and a couple are:

I am not ashamed of my talent for erotica.   

But regardless of what I happen to be inspired to work on at the moment, I HATE having something I'm working on read before I'm ready.  Combine that with a family who cannot grasp the concept of privacy in any way, fashion, or form and I'm constantly looking for ways to shield my projects so that prying eyes don't see them and immediately think, "She doesn't want me to read that.......I must read it now!"

So.  Prior to my old laptop dying a hero's death, I simply placed them in a password protected folder/file and went on about my business.  It wasn't perfect.  I inevitably got questioned about what exactly I was hiding that I would need to password protect files on my computer with a password that I hadn't shared with everyone who uses my laptop.  But after I reminded the inquisitive little shits that I don't actually have a life outside of my imagination, everyone would go on their merry little way.  (Or wait until I turned my back and try desperately to break my password)

Now I have fucking Windows 8.  I do not like it.  At all.  I might get there one day, but right now it's the bane of my existence.  And to add insult to injury, you cannot password protect your files and folders in Windows 8.  (Yes, I even googled it) 

So I did a bit more googling and found a geek site that showed me how to do a neat little trick that not only allows me to password protect my Projects folder.......it then makes that bitch disappear entirely!  Fucking A!  No more questions, no more undeserved suspicion, and no more bruised egos because I won't let them read my stuff! 

This shit is the bomb!! 

I can now write a little easier knowing that my horrible unedited works aren't being scrutinized before they've reached appropriate levels of readiness.  And my family can live in blissful ignorance that I have a continued hobby that I don't immediately share with them on demand. 

Sunday, June 16, 2013


So....I got a job.  It's a great job and it's at my children's school.  I didn't take to the sitting at home alone all day with nothing to do as well as I thought I would and so I volunteered everyday until they started feeling bad that they weren't paying me and hired me out of pity.

Meanwhile, school's out for the summer and I am now the mother of a middle-schooler.  Fucking hell.  I aged ten years just typing that shit.

His "promotion ceremony" was Friday and it was great.  I cried like a baby.  Seriously.  It was embarrassing.  I did ok until the principal declared them the class of 2020....and the music was playing....and...and....cue the "ugly" cry.

I honestly cannot rave enough about the teachers that we have had since coming to Maryland.  Every single one of them has been absolutely spectacular.  I wish I could pack the whole lot of them up and take them with us when we leave.

My oldest will no longer be in the same school that I work at, but my youngest will be moving up to into it.  Which means that he will no longer have to go to daycare.  Yay!  I really like our daycare provider, and he did too.  But it will be wonderful to have that money to put towards other stuff from now on.


there is my update.  I've got a lot going on for the next three weeks, but it all should be fairly blog-able.  My mother is renewing her vows to her husband of 25 1/2 years, so we're going down home for that.  Then I'm leaving my rugrats with my mother and heading to my best friend's house!!  Then it's on to my dad's and back home for more working.  I might throw all my guys out at the end of the summer for a visit with my MIL while I stay home in the peace and quiet and watch all the episodes of Game of Thrones and read until my heart grows three sizes larger and I'm ready to deal with a house full of guys again.

Yay summer!

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

People make me sad

Today massive amounts of people ran to Chick-Fil-A to order (an admittedly delicious) chicken sandwich and show their support for a company that they think is being discriminated against or persecuted.

Chick-Fil-A has not, in any way, fashion, or form been discriminated against or persecuted against because people chose to boycott them over their CEO's son's incredibly stupid business moves.  Dan Cathy has every fucking right in the world to be the biggest bigoted homophobe bastard he wants to be.  He has every fucking right in the world to broadcast that fact on every media outlet he can find to broadcast it.  No one is denying him that right.  No one issued a warrant for his arrest, closed his very popular food chain, fined him, or infringed on his 1st Amendment rights whatsoever.  Dan Cathy has exercised his free speech.....

And those boycotting Chick-Fil-A have exercised theirs.

Whether the boy-cotter's simply didn't realize that Chick-Fil-A was a conservative Christian owned chain (really though??  They are the ONLY fast food chain that isn't open on Sunday), they didn't automatically assume that the owners were bigots simply because they were Christian (which is idealistic and sweet, please don't let these douchbags take away your rosy outlook on life), or they knew that they were conservative Christian and probably privately held bigoted beliefs but didn't realize they translated those beliefs in to the donation of huge portions of their profits into several organizations that actively (and successfully), TRULY persecute and discriminate against gay people (including the Family Research Council, which has been officially deemed a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center) doesn't matter.  Dan Cathy let his self-righteous sense of superiority override his good business sense and let the cat out of the bag.  And the people that feel strongly about marriage equality, and equal rights and just treatment for all homosexuals have decided that they don't want to continue to give money to a bigot who is just going to turn around and give that money to lobbyists that write and fund legislation that keeps homosexuals as second-class citizens.

The 1st Amendment protects your right to free speech; it does not protect you from the civil consequences of that speech.  (Just ask the Dixie Chicks.)

Chick-Fil-A's rights have not been infringed upon IN ANY FUCKING WAY.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

T-Minus 9 Days

Remember my previous blogs about the road trip I was dragging my two best friends on? 

That was a nice dream. 

But all is not lost.  I still had the money and determination to get at least myself across the country and so I pulled together a new plan and my husband and myself are leaving in 9 days for 2 fun-filled weeks on the Northwestern coast.  (A shout-out of thanks to my mom for holding down the fort for me while I'm gone.  I'm leaving you alone with three kids, five dogs, your husband and my grandma.....I'll totally spring for the tranquilizers and Valium, plus a case of whatever wine you are preferring these days)

I'll be taking tons of pictures and have lots to blog.  It will be called either "Nightshade and T-Rex's 2nd honeymoon" series or "The demise of my 11 year marriage" series.  I'll only know after it's done. 

Thursday, June 21, 2012


I have a very beloved uncle.  For the most part, he is made of awesome.  Unfortunately, stupidity makes up the rest of him.  I'd say he's 75% awesome, 25% stupidity.  And I've been very fortunate to only have to witness the stupidity from afar.  I've never been on the receiving end of his antics; quite the opposite, in fact, he's always been very supportive of me. 

About a year and a half ago, he gave his stupidity full reign (seriously, FULL reign) and literally destroyed his life over nothing.  He left his family, lost his job and every hope of ever entering his career field again, and landed himself in prison for 18 months.  

His wife, who is either the biggest saint ever or the dumbest chick ever (it's a toss up really.  I fucking adore her, but sticking with my uncle after his history is masochism on a level I have never seen....and I can't even begin to figure out what effect all of it will have on their children.) is sticking with him.  They have children who are around the same age as my children, and they are really struggling with everything.  My grandmother......is not helping (to put it very mildly).  

I said all that to ask this:  What the fuck am I supposed to write in a letter to him??  Seriously.  What do you write to someone in jail??  I know that he knows he fucked up on a nuclear level and is devastated by how everything is now.  I don't want to bum him out.  He's definitely paying for his actions.  My family wants me to write him....and I WANT to write him.  But I keep starting letters, realizing that they sound utterly ridiculous, and throwing them away.   I'm completely at a loss. 

Friday, June 1, 2012

Snow White and the Huntsman

was fucking awesome. 

I have been looking forward to this movie for a while, but I was seriously doubting my ability to stay awake.  The Chinese food we had for dinner did not help at all.  But me and the hubs watched the first installment of Hatfields & McCoys on the History Channel to pass the time, and it woke me up pretty well. 

I cannot resist a Kevin Costner western.  A Kevin Costner anything, really.

 At 11pm, I hopped in our car and jammed to Florence + the Machine's "Breath of Life" from the SWATH soundtrack all the way to Columbia.  The theater smelled.  Like old people and popcorn.  It was not a pleasant "Granny's baking cookies" old people smell either. 

But then the movie started and I forgot all about the funky smell and being tired.

Visually, this movie is pretty awesome.  It is an epic fantasy with quite a bit of very well done CGI, incredible costumes, these odd and awesome obsidian soldiers, and most of the cast was very easy on the eyes.  It also stars Ian McShane as one of the dwarfs so it had a leg up on most other movies auditorily too.  Spell check is saying that I spelled auditorily wrong....but Dictionary.com says that I'm spelling it right.  Hmmm.

It also has a nice twist on the love story aspect that I appreciated, but I'm pretty sure is going to cause purists to groan.  

This is has been one of the only Snow White movies that I could appreciate at all (the other being Once Upon A Time's version on ABC).  I absolutely hated the Disney version.  This version is going to be a staple in my household.  I can't wait to watch it again. 

And can I just say, Charlize Theron is a goddess.  Seriously.  And chick knows how to bring the crazy.  

Also, for your listening pleasure: