WARNING: If taken in large doses, nightshade can be deadly.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

And the Darwin Award goes to.......

this guy:

Idiot pastor in West Virginia dies in idiotic snake-handling "test of faith".

Ironic quotes from said pastor:

Snake-handlers point to scripture as evidence that God calls them to engage in such a practice to show their faith in him. Mark 16: 17-18 reads, "And these signs shall follow them that believe: In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues. They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover."

 "Anybody can do it that believes it," Wolford (aka: Idiot pastor) said. "Jesus said, 'These signs shall follow them which believe.' This is a sign to show people that God has the power."

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

It's Night of the Walking Dead down there...

My husband has taken to reading the news and keeping himself generally up to date on most of the goings on of the world.  And while he is reading stuff, he's still generally apathetic about everything he reads.  So when he came home the other night excitedly asking me if I had read about the man who chewed off the other man's face, I had to see what the hell he was talking about.  

Miami police shoot, kill man eating another man's face.  He even ate the man's nose and eyeballs, y'all.  What the fuck?  

Although it is believed that the two men were on some sort of drug (called "bath salts"....really?  Way to forever fuck up a Mother's Day gift basket assholes), the jokes about zombies started almost immediately.  As they totally should have.  

But you have to feel horrible for the face-eaten victim.  Seriously, how do you come back from that?  He will always be known as the guy who survived the zombie attack in Miami.  However, if the man is so inclined, he could always segue this into a lucrative career as a zombie porn star.  Yes, that shit exists.  Google it.  Or just take my word for it, because it's rather disturbing and cannot be unseen.